100 Ways To Make Art
(And Have Sex Too)
1. Attend an art exhibition with your buddy.
2. Auction yourself off.
3. Be a French; or at least date a French. (After Map Office)
4. Bring an extra-large mat to your next beach outing. (After Christo & Jeanne-Claude)
5. Carve on the body. (After Ancient Nubian civilisation)
6. Consult a geomancer.
7. Cook. (After Rirkrit Tiravanija)
8. Critter-cam your partner. (After the recent David Attenborough)
9. Critter-cam yourself. (After the early David Attenborough)
10. Dance. (After Ah Hock & Peng Yu)
11. Date an artist. (After many artist couples)
12. Discuss art ideas while getting topped.
13. Discuss open-relationship ideas with your artist partner.
14. Do nothing much. (After Gilbert & George)
15. Do relational erotica. (Before Nicolas Bourriaud)
16. Document your blowjob. (After Andy Warhol)
17. Document your genitalia. (After Robert Mapplethorpe)
18. Don’t have a baby. (After Kacey Wong)
19. Down two glasses of wine at exhibition openings.
20. Eat well.
21. Edge in a gallery. (After Elke Krystufek)
22. Edge, surf porn sites, edge, chat, edge, draft proposals, edge….
23. Exercise, or at least jog, regularly.
24. Flash your body art.
25. Float in a tank of formaldehyde. (After Damian Hirst)
26. Fuck your sitter. (After Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio)
27. Fuck yourself. (After Charles Ray)
28. Get an abusive partner. (After Nan Goldin)
29. Get arrested together. (After Linda Montana & Tehching Hsieh)
30. Get fucked by 252 men. (After Annabel Chong)
31. Get into a photo booth.
32. Go away.
33. Go diving.
34. Go for walks.
35. Go online only after your partner is asleep. (After Heman Chong)
36. Go through the pictures in THE ARTIST’S BODY.
37. Have a pre-show launch the night before the opening.
38. Have a quickie during setup or between rehearsals.
39. Have music on during sex.
40. Hire a rapist. (After Sophie Calle)
41. Hire an amputee. (After Matthew Barney)
42. Hit the gym. (After Rassim®)
43. Include a reasonable talent/assistant fee in the proposed budget.
44. Interview a/the prostitute.
45. Invite collectors to your studio.
46. Invite God.
47. Just do it, without thinking if it is art or sex.
48. Kiss in water. (After Ulay/Abramovic)
49. Knock each other out.
50. Let go of one of these criteria: beautiful, smart, fit, adventurous, nice.
51. Let your partner suck you off while you’re working.
52. Lick curators’ ass. (After Ondrej Brody & Kristofer Paeta)
53. Live separately.
54. Look damn good. (After Elmgreen & Dragset)
55. Look like many stars. (After Cindy Sherman)
56. Make a baby with a faghag.
57. Make a porn Godard-style.
58. Make an installation with blowup dolls. (After The Chapman Brothers)
59. Make sex the theme of your art.
60. Make two boiler suits connected at the genital area. (After Lygia Clark)
61. Marry a curator. (After Yuk King Tan)
62. Marry an art dealer. (After Sam Taylor-Wood)
63. Marry an MA student. (After Samson Young)
64. Map out who you wish to fuck. (After Simon Patterson)
65. Masturbate dead artists through a seance. (For Jaffa Lam)
66. Must-have’s: name cards, rubber, lub, camera, mint, floss.
67. Own a copy of ENCYCLOPEDIA OF UNUSUAL SEXUAL PRACTICES and keep it safe.
68. Participate in a sex-themed project.
69. Photograph the bed afterward. (After Lee Kit)
70. Pose for Kama sutra.
71. Prolong foreplay.
72. Read pornography to corpses. (After Araya Rasdjarmrearnsook)
73. Record your squirm as you’re inspired by an eight-incher.
74. Remix your recordings of moans. (After Vitto Acconci)
75. Rework the Phalanstery. (After Charles Fourier)
76. Rip each other’s clothes off. (After Yoko Ono)
77. Save a screen shot of all your chat windows.
78. Seal your cum in a good bottle. (After Piero Manzoni)
79. Send sexy emails the morning after.
80. Set a timetable.
81. Shave each other. (After Josef Ng)
82. Show your unmade bed. (After Tracey Emin)
83. Sign up for Film 101: Camerawork with Edison.
84. Sleep a lot.
85. Snap that tight ass! (After David Hockney)
86. Speak in Shakespearian English during intercourse.
87. Spit on each other. (After Pablo Picasso)
88. Squirt on your partner’s body and title it AFTER POLLOCK. (After Keith Boadwee)
89. Stock. (After Michael Lee)
90. Strobe-light your bedroom.
91. Study an astrology book.
92. Subscribe to xtube.
93. Supervise your own ads. (After Jeff Koons)
94. Swear to god that you won’t have sex anymore.
95. Take a golden shower. (After Otto Mühl)
96. Type with one hand.
97. Use a mechanical third hand. (After Sterlac)
98. Use a pet. (After Joseph Beuys)
99. Use ice as a material for your next sculpture piece.
100. Use your brain.
© 2009 Michael Lee Hong Hwee
with Heman Chong, Stefen Chow, Ming, Arron Khek, Tan See Kam and Doris Wong